The many scandals of Buffy and Spike
by kizza-lubs-you
Summary: Buffy and spike get spontanious in many different ways and places
1. a bit of coffee

The many scandals of Buffy and Spike  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any part of Buffy or any T.V program branched off Buffy like Angel. Enjoy!  
  
A/N~ I'm a first time writer and probably not so good at it either. Review if you can help with my writing "techniques" and remember Kizza lubs you!  
  
It was 5am and Buffy was out on patrol, ready to kill any evil that lurked in the dark shadows of the early morning. She was keeping her mind busy by singing a little tune she sang the other night when Sweet was in town. "I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel my skin should crack and peel...?" Unfortunately she was interrupted by a rustle in the bushes which was completely unnatural seeing as there was no wind. She took her fighting stance and waited for the 'thing' to show it's self.  
  
Buffy: "Oh it's only you Spike. Why are you up this early?"  
  
Spike: "Creature of the night, remember. Make the most of the dark sleep in the light. You know the drill.  
  
Buffy: "oh. yeah right."  
  
Spike: "Anyway I could say the same for you. Why are you up this early?"  
  
Buffy: "couldn't sleep. I have a meeting with Dawn's S&E teacher tomorrow. or rather, today. So I though I may as well be out doing something useful than just lay there thinking."  
  
Spike: "yeah didn't need to hear your life story. So you wanna.?"  
  
Buffy: "wanna what?"  
  
Spike: "you know. have a 'coffee' you follow me?"  
  
Buffy: "oh. yeah sure. I've got time for a quickie"  
  
Spike: "a little less conversation. a little more action!"  
  
The two wandered off together towards Spike's place in complete silence. After all they didn't want to make things awkward by getting to know each other. properly! Buffy wasn't paying attention to where they were headed until she looked up and saw the lights of Sunnydale before her.  
  
Buffy: "where are we Spike? I thought we were going to your place?"  
  
Spike: "I said we were going for coffee! What did you think?"  
  
Buffy: "all the coffee places are shut!"  
  
Spike: "just wait and see"  
  
They continued walking until they found a coffee shop, right near the Magic Shop. Spike picked the lock with stealth and ease, and they were in. Spike took off his disgusting leather jacket which was always clean although he never seemed to wash it... at least it smelt as though he never did anyway. Next he undid his belt and turned to Buffy, "the counter is looking bloody fantastic to me right now." The shocked yet seemingly intrigued look on Buffy's face said all he wanted to hear. She slowly took of her Designer coat and then laid her steak on the bench near the window.  
  
The two "heated" the room up quite quickly considering it was such a misty and frost riddled morning. Spike especially was "steamy and hot" almost as if he were on fire. That's right fire. It seems the two were so entangled with each other that they forgot that the sun was due to rise at any moment. Spike being a vampire should have burst into flames and burned to his dusty death but he was a little too hot for Buffy's likings to keep going for that long with out saying something.  
  
Buffy: "umm. Spike! SPIKE DAMN IT! You're on fire!"  
  
Spike: "Bleatin' hell!!!"  
  
Buffy:" here take this and get back to your crypt before you burn to death!"  
  
Buffy helped put out the fire on his arm then handed him a table cloth and was about to open the door when it opened before she could. The store's opener had walked in to see why the door was unlocked, catching the Buffy stark naked sitting on the counter.  
  
Owner: "Buffy? Is that you? What in blue blazers do you think your doing?"  
  
Before he could say anymore Buffy had put all her clothes on and run out the door to the safety and privacy of her own home only to find Dawn sitting at the kitchen bench eating her cereal.  
  
Dawn: "where have you been? I had to wake myself up this morning!"  
  
Buffy: "I was err..patrolling. Sorry I wasn't home earlier I got ahh.. held up."  
  
Dawn: "Yeah well could you get held up when you are meant to be at the meeting with Mr. Fezio"  
  
Buffy: "oh my gosh I nearly forgot. The meeting!"  
  
A/N~ if you have any comments please review before I get started on the second chapter so I can improve! Thanking you! 


	2. Human bio with a twist

Disclaimer- I still do not own any part of Buffy or Angel.  
  
A/N~ I'm hoping this chapter will improve on my last. Thanks to those who have read and reviewed my 1st chapter. Yes I was aware spike died. that's why its fan fiction. Remember Kizza lubs you!  
  
"Buffy! Again with the not waking me up!" Dawn shrieked at her sister down the hall way as she was trying to get ready for school within 15 whole minutes. Buffy wandered out of her bedroom still half asleep to see dawn standing in front of her glaring at her.  
  
Buffy: "Dawnie. honey. It's Saturday." Dawn: "Oh. yeah I knew that I was. testing you. Yeah that's what I was doing. Testing you. and so now I can go back to bed."  
  
Dawn disappeared into her bedroom and Buffy was left standing in the hall. By now she was wide awake. She decided to go have breakfast and watch a bit of T.V. Unfortunately she was disturbed by a phone call from Giles at the Magic shop.  
  
Giles: "Buffy. Hello. Can you come in to the shop? We seem to have a little research to do." Buffy: "What's the big bad this time?" Giles: "we aren't sure as yet but spike is going to lend us a hand seeing as its daylight and he broke in and slept in the basement last night." Buffy: "he what? Why did he do that? Oh never mind ill be in as soon as I can."  
  
Of course she was disappointed that her weekend was going to be based around books and sharp heavy weapons yet again. She made her way up the stairs to get changed out of her PJ's and to tell dawn she was going out.  
  
Buffy: "Dawnie sweetie I need to go into the magic shop if you need me you know where I am."  
  
Dawn's response was one of those groans that you get in the morning when you have just woken up.  
  
----------------------------------------------~ At the magic shop ~--------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
The doorbell rang as Buffy walked though the door. She was greeted by the Scooby gang which consisted of Anya, Xander, Giles, Willow and occasionally Spike. It wasn't quite the gang it used to be. Angel left and Cordi followed, Tara was gunned down by warren "accidentally" but it would do. Buffy: "so what are we dealing with this time? Have you found anything yet?" Giles: "well we aren't too big on the information yet but it's a new type of demon. We haven't seen anything like it before." Buffy: "and what does this "demon" look like? Giles: "that's the thing. It looks like a human to everyone except the person its attacking. It makes it victim out to be crazy so no one takes notice." Buffy: "well we need to find out where this guys hiding. Spike come with me to the basement we might be able to... Umm find some err. documents on this demon down there. The rest of you can hit the books.  
  
Spike and Buffy made their way down the stairs into the magic shop basement, which just happened to be the only room with a lock on the door.  
  
Xander: "yeah sure. I bet they are gonna find documents. They had the sneakiness and get-a-roominess look in their eyes." Anya: "yuck Xander"  
  
Buffy and spike did discover something but it wasn't at all related to what they were meant to be doing. Lets just say they discover new things about the opposite sexes anatomy that was totally not for the public eye!  
  
This time they didn't discover a new type of coffee. it was a bit of a human bio lesson. with an R rated twist to it! 


	3. twister of a new sort

Disclaimer- Yup I still don't own Buffy and Angel.  
  
A/N~ Guess what!? Angel and TARA make guest appearances in this chapter! Well my sick fantasy for Buffy and spike to have 'relations' continues!  
  
Buffy was on 'patrol' again, only this time she was patrolling a popular night spot. No it's not the cemetery and no it's not Spike's crypt but yes it is the bronze! She had a gut feeling that she could get a pina colata there. She had been craving one sing she watched that Sunday night movie on channel 7. It had a song in it which she had been singing in her head non stop. "Do you like pina colata's, and being caught in the rain? If you're not into yoga, if you had half the brain!" She just had to have one. So there she was sitting at the bar when some one came up behind her. "Is this seat taken?"  
  
Buffy: "Angel?" Angel: "Buffy? Wow I haven't seen you since." Buffy: "since.. Oh yeah" Angel: "yeah since then." Buffy: "wow! You look great!" Angel: "ditto. So how about we go for a stroll and catch up on old times?" Buffy: "sounds great!"  
  
The two walked out of the Bronze and towards the usual walking place that seems to be another popular hang out. yes you guessed it. THE CEMETARY! They wandered around all the pretty gravestones for 2 hours talking about what they have been doing. Buffy didn't exactly tell angel what she had been doing! Literally DOING! But I guess angel will find out seeing as he.. Wait, you will find out.  
  
Buffy: "It's been great to catch up with you. Would you like to join me and a few others at my place tomorrow night? It's a bit of a party." Angel: "yeah sounds great"  
  
They said their farewells and went their separate ways. Buffy should have gone on patrol but she was a little too worried about how she was going to "decorate" for the party that she had just made up to get angel into her house.  
  
----------------------------------------------------~ At Buffy's House ~---- ----------------------------------------------  
  
Buffy ran upstairs to her phone next to her bed. She dialed anyone she could think of and invited them to her gathering. Spike was standing exactly where she predicted. He was smoking while standing in front of that tree outside her house.  
  
Buffy: "Spike. I would like to extend an invitation to you for tomorrow night. I'm having a bit of a gang ba. I mean I'm having a party." Spike: "yeah sure I'll be there."  
  
Buffy ran back into the house only to find Tara standing in her room.  
  
Buffy: "Tara? I thought you were. dead" Tara: "yeah but you've died twice so why cant I? No I'm being silly. I was allowed out of heaven for your party." Buffy: "fan-bloody-tastic! The more the merrier!  
  
Buffy's party had quite a few guests like Angel, Spike, Anya, Willow, Tara, Oz, Cordi, Gun, Dawn, Fred and Wesley. They ate dinner then made their way up to Buffy's room. She had taken all the furniture out of her room and placed mattresses all over the floor. They all looked at each other in delight. They kept each other busy by playing a modified version of twister for a few hours. By the time the err.game was over they were so exhausted that they slept until late afternoon the next day. They were completely re-energized by now so they decided to have one more game. and so they played and played this game for days straight. Buffy's party was a big hit. 


	4. It takes two to Tango!

Disclaimer- No. I still don't own Buffy and Angel Joss Whedon does.  
  
A/N~ Otay my last chapter lacked in creativity but Christine really wanted them to have a 3sum so I had to make them just incase she read my fan fics and discovered I never used her idea. Kizza Lubs you!  
  
"And a one, two three and four. A one, two three and four." Buffy's tango instructor was trying not to get mad at everyone who was out of time even though she was counting but. her anger was stronger than expected. "YOU STUPID IMBECILES! IM COUNTING AND YOU STILL CAN NOT GET IT RIGHT!" her accent made her words sound funny so they whole class burst out in immature giggle fits. "THAT IS IT! CLASS DISMISSED!"  
  
Buffy walked home taking a detour through the cemetery just to make sure no evil was lurking. There was evil but it was only spike.  
  
Spike: "I'm bloody sick of people saying oh it's only Spike! I wish someone would be grateful I'm bloody well here for once! Its bloody bollocks!"  
  
Buffy: "yeah sure. I'm listening yeah of course."  
  
Spike ran off in wild tantrums and screaming because everyone was taking him for granted. "I hate you all!!!" Buffy dismissed him little tantrum as a pathetic little attention scheme, which would eventually lead to them at Spike's crypt screwing like wild donkeys, and kept on walking.  
  
When Buffy got home she went straight to bed. She awoke the next morning to see a not beside her bed. The note read:  
  
Dear beloved Buffy,  
  
I was hoping things would never come to this but I have to say goodbye. For a proper traditional farewell meet me at the Sunnydale dance center and 10:00 pm where we can see each other one last time.  
  
Forever yours  
William.  
  
Buffy gasped in shock. Where would she find her nightly fix now? Who would be her dance partner! She had to stop him! She decided that she would show him such a good time tonight that he would never be able to leave.  
  
She wore her favourite sexy clothes to the dance hall to find the gym class had left their mattresses out. That was mighty negligent of them! Spike walked out of the store room to see Buffy standing there in her sexy, sexy clothing! Oo Lar Lar!  
  
The two practiced their tango techniques in a different way than normal but it was better than the way the instructor has tried to teach them. They found a new form of dance which is now called. "The Horizontal Tango!"  
  
Spike never left Sunnydale! 


	5. Willow's dreaming again

Disclaimer- I still don't own Buffy or Angel or anything Joss Whedon created.  
  
A/N~ I am still reminding people that these are fan FICTIONS and I can portray characters how ever I please! And I am crazy so don't expect no plots from me. This time we enter Willow's dreams to find out what wild and crazy fantasy she has been concocting. This chapter is dedicated to all my friends and especially Christine who wanted to see spike Buffy and willow have a 3sum. Remember Kizza lubs you!  
  
"Buffy. Buffy! Where are you Buffy?" Willows screams echoed through the empty house. All the furniture had disappeared and the floor was soft and fluffy. It was as if someone had used their house as a sheering shed. but for poodles not sheep. "Buffy? BUFFY!" Then Buffy poked her head out from the top of the stairs.  
  
Buffy: "yes Willow?" Willow: "Buffy where is all our furniture?" Buffy: "I donated it to a very needing charity." Willow: "wow. That's generous. Which charity?" Buffy: "the. Spike is poor charity."  
  
Willow walked off with a confuzzled look on her face. But why was the floor all soft and fluffy? Some things can never be explained. that's when Willow's dream skipped a bit.  
  
Now spike was in the house with her but no Buffy. Willow looked at him; she had never noticed how appealing he was. even though she was a dyke. She took a step towards him with a glisten in her eye, just as she was about to throw herself on him, Buffy staggered though the door. Buffy: "Just the two people I love the most. Let's go into my room." Spike: "What?! With Willow?" Willow: "With Spike?" Buffy: "Yes. It will be fun. just wait and see."  
  
The three were walking up the stairs when dawn popped out of her room.  
  
Dawn: "where are you 3 going?"  
  
Buffy ignored her and pushed her down the stairs. Unfortunately Dawn fell very heavily and her head split open. Her brains and blood oozed out all over the floor.  
  
Buffy: "That's gonna be a doozy to clean! Damn her!"  
  
The 3 continued their journey up the stairs towards the beckoning of Buffy's bedroom. Buffy and spike began to sing a duet. They sang the song that Tara sang while under the influence of sweet; "I break with every swell. Lost in ecstasy, spread beneath my willow tree." They laid down on the bed and made Willow's sick little dream come true! 


	6. Going up?

Disclaimer- Still not owning Buffy and Angel.  
  
A/N~ this chapter is a bit imaginative so bare with me because I'm not too sure of how to present my idea. Kizza lubs you!  
  
Buffy woke with a start. The phone was ringing and with her cackling morning voice she answered, "Hello?" the voice down the other end took a while to respond before introducing herself. "Hi, I'm Susan from Sunnydale public hospital. I have rung to tell Buffy Anne Summers that her sister, Dawn is in our care. She had an accident and was brought in last night. I believe Buffy is her Next of Kin. Is this correct?" Buffy was shocked and couldn't answer for a few moments. She eventually brought herself to speak. "Yes, I'm Buffy and I'm on my way." She hung up the phone and went back to sleep. She didn't really care that Dawn was in hospital. She was a walking disaster and this was a monthly occurrence.  
  
It was night fall before she woke again. Spike was smoking next to her tree again. She walked past and caught Spike's eye.  
  
Spike: Where are you off to pet?"  
  
Buffy:" I'm going to the hospital. They took dawn in last night."  
  
Spike went to the hospital with her. They went to the desk and got the room number. They were in the lift even though there was a dreadful storm outside. Suddenly the lift came to a halt, the awful music stopped and the light went out.  
  
Spike: "looks like the bloody lift is stuck here!"  
  
They were stuck in the lift for 15 minutes in silence. They finally decided they should get to know each other a bit better. They began to talk about past present and future. They got along like a house on fire. They realized that they were even more drawn together now than before. Spike shifted closer, she moved closer as well. They began to undress and then decided to exert their energies and waste more oxygen faster by doing a bit of sex- ercise.  
  
Meanwhile out in the hospital there were mechanics working to get the lift up and running again. It took them about 30 minutes after they got there to repair the damage. The lift made its way to the unsuspecting floor. * Bling * the door opened exposing the pair to all the mechanics, nursing staff and patients. Worst of all they were taking Dawn for a walk down the corridor at the time so she saw her sister taking part in a bit of sex- ercise! 


	7. Goodbye to you

Disclaimer- I don't own Buffy or Angel unfortunately.  
  
A/N~ I fear this is my last chapter as I have run out of ideas. I'm sorry folks. I will begin a new story eventually. Thank you to all people who have read and reviewed my past 6 chapters. This chapter is inspired by "Michelle Branch- good bye to you." Kizza lubs you all! (lyrics at bottom)  
  
Buffy and Spike woke up lying next to each other surrounded by angry confused faces. It seems they forgot they were in the magic shop this time. They sat up in shock of being caught. again! As if the elevator and coffee shop weren't enough. Now their loyal companions have caught them in the act, well not actually in the act but close enough. Giles was the first to speak,  
  
Giles: "What is going on here!?"  
  
Unfortunately it was a VERY stupid question. It probably, no definitely had an answer which I'm pretty sure nobody wanted to hear.  
  
Buffy: "umm. well. I was. he was. we were. ahh."  
  
Spike: "what the little lady mean is that we were..."  
  
Thankfully spike was cut off by Xander who was completely grossed out!  
  
Xander: "can someone get me a bucket? I think I'm going to be sick!"  
  
He ran off to find somewhere to puke, leaving Willow, Giles and Anya staring down at the pair. Spike piped up again, "Look, me and the little bit have been. screwing. I'm not gonna deny it because I like it."  
  
Buffy sat there still in shock of being caught by her friends. Giles finally did something sensible,  
  
Giles: "okay let's just walk away and forget any of this ever happened!"  
  
They all agreed and walked off to do their work. Buffy went down into the basement for training and spike hid in a dark corner so no sunlight could hit his body. Giles and Buffy were hard at work training in the basement when Spike emerged at the top of the stairs.  
  
Spike: "Can I have a word with you both?"  
  
Without waiting for an answer he walked down the stairs and began to speak,  
  
Spike: "I'm leaving. Things here are way too awkward. I'll miss Buffy and the crew but I can't stay here. Buffy, you can either stake me or I will run. It's you choice. Don't tell me though. I leave tonight if I haven't been dusted by then. Bye"  
  
Spike walked back up the stairs. He grabbed a thick blanket and ran back to his crypt.  
  
-----------------------------------------------~ Spike's Crypt That Night~-- --------------------------------------------  
  
Buffy knocked on the door 3 times. There was no answer so she just opened the door. Spike was sitting there amongst millions of candles.  
  
Spike: "I knew you would come"  
  
Buffy: "one last time."  
  
The two made the night the most romantic they could. And it was amazing, until the end where Buffy whipped out her stake and turned Spike into a pile of dust of the floor.  
  
Later that evening she gathered people up to clean Spike's crypt.  
  
Buffy: "see that pile of dust? That's spike so don't just sweep him under the rug!"  
  
They cleaned until early morning and made numerous discoveries.  
  
~The End~ (of more than one thing! It's the end of this story, the end of Spike and the end of Buffy and Spike's scandalous sex life!)  
  
"Goodbye To You"  
  
Of all the things I've believed in  
  
I just want to get it over with  
  
Tears form behind my eyes  
  
But I do not cry  
  
Counting the days that pass me by  
  
I've been searching deep down in my soul  
  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
  
The last three years were just pretend  
  
And I said,  
  
Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
I still get lost in your eyes  
  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
  
But it's not right  
  
Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
  
I want you  
  
But I'm not giving in this time  
  
Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
And when the stars fall  
  
I will lie awake  
  
You're my shooting star 


End file.
